people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
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We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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