man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
