i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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