i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
