I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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