Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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