that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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