Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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