Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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