and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
