You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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