when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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