cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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