Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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