Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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