This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
