yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
