Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
home. puking in laundry basket.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
