I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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