Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
