I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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