We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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