I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
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You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
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He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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