He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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