During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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