Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
there is glitter all over my balls
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
