Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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