You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
