I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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