the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
