I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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