You really coming over, don't trick.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
