it hurts more in the daytime
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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