Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize