This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
