I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
