Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
