I molested 6 butterflies tonight
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I know her cup size but not her name....
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