like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
