with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
