i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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