just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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