To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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