she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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