If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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