We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize