Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
