he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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