She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
