What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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