4 words: hood of his car
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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