So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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