How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
