My first STD was from a foam party
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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