apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize