Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
