Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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