I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
