ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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