Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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