Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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