I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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