haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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