it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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